Match Report Cavaliers Social XI vs Weston CC May 25th 2024

Location: 7 Cherry Brook Rd, Weston, MA
Man of the Match: Raj Hooli
Quacka:Raj Hooli
Virgin of the Day: Rishin (worst down in one beer in the history of the Cavs)
https://cricclubs.com/RCCWestonFriendlyLeague/viewScorecard.do?matchId=906&clubId=1093839

First social match of the season was a welcome fillip after the pain of not getting invited to the Philadelphia International Cricket Festival for the first time in 7 years depriving the social XI of an easy 4-5 matches. $25 (per year) @Dave Barlow. And what a cast of Cavalier legends it was that descended on this new cricket venue. It was a special day to have club numbers 1,3,4, 20, 25, 36, 43 and 80 all playing in the same match. Not to mention 19, 61 and 65, 67, 79 and 88(Monty, The General, Mayhem, Jamie Evans, Jamil and Chalky) coming to the match and club social afterwards at Stig's house.

Could this team roll back the years for a glorious win? The portents were good when original club all-rounder Darren “ Dazzler” Braham declared his intent to play. No you can’t bowl. I still have PTSD from that ill fated, desperate decision in 2006.

Unpredictable, dangerous, outrageous and delightfully quirky. No, not Paddy Cashin but the pitch. Owing to a soccer and baseball pitch the cricket pitch could only face one way and the fine leg, third boundary barely went past the slips. Local rules in effect, 1 if a bye or shot went under the fence and 2 runs if it went over the fence. Cars were quickly moved. Ramp shots hurriedly practiced. A millionaire from the oppo casually strolled down the long driveway of the mansion opposite. What a commute. With a house like that you would think he could chip in for a proper pitch?!?

A beautiful cloudless, sunny day made it inevitable Paddy would take his clothes off and lounge like a sun lizard. Old Skip won the toss with the obvious “Tails” and opted to bat. The oppo skipper and CEO of Waters Corporation said “Are you sure? Batting first on a pitch you have never played on?” Amateur mind games over, Tetley and Fry were reunited as openers for the first time in a long time. It was business as usual as the pair rotated the strike and navigated a wild and unpredictable flex mat. (the last time we had played on such a mat was St. Columba circa 2007-2013.) To underscore the pitch’s spice, Fry took a ball that reared up off a length hitting his hand ricocheting onto his box. His right testicle was grateful after taking a direct hit while fielding in the prior league match. Tetley declared before the match he was on a health kick and it showed as he batted with his trademark flair and intention while running smartly between the wickets. The pair put on a steady 27 for 0 after 7 overs.

Fry declared it was time to kick on and was promptly bowled. This brought young Rishin to the crease. A sub-continental version of Cavs legend Mark Tutton. He had waited patiently for his chance to make his Cavs debut but sadly his stay was short. This brought former Cavs league skipper and club legend Muks to the crease. With his trademark sun hat and back foot drives he and Tets pushed the score to 42 off 11 overs before Tets was also bowled for 25 off 43 balls. Welcome back! Ravi B Patel (not to be confused with Boom Boom) playing his first match since 2018 for the Cavs and demonstrated his attacking intent with a four and a six in 21 off 22 before he was undone missing a straight one for LBW. Ben Loomes was then bowled and 75 for 5 off 17 overs was leaving us perilously under par. Raj Hooli joined Muks for the first time since batting together at Mad Dogs CC in 2011 when Muks famously denied Raj his maiden Cavs century by hitting a ball for 4 which left Raj stranded on 96 n.o. Raj wasted no time creating an exclusive club of one by getting run out for a duck on his first ball. Not quite a platinum as he left his crease as the on strike batsman. The platinum club is the preserve of Graeme Doran, Brendon Binneman and Vidit Munshi) This brought Dazzler to the crease and despite running between the wickets like an 80 year old, he played his shots. Muks departed to bring a helmetless Paddy to the wicket. This proved an oversight as the snakes in the aforementioned dodgy pitch reared their cobra like heads and Paddy was hit on the head and was retired hurt. Ben Loomes quickly applied an ice cold Rolling Rock to the wound.Fry mimicked the reporter who asked Mike Gatting where the ball had exactly hit him after succumbing to a Malcolm Marshall bouncer. Duly noted and appreciated by Chalky. Stig’s stay at the crease was as rapid as a Viking raid and it was left to Eric Saunders and Dazzler to add a pleasing cameo that brought us from 88 to an under par 102 for 9 off 25 overs. Like all good social matches everyone got a bat.

Raj opened the bowling with young Rishin who was keen to atone for his batting. The pair bowled beautifully with Raj rolling back the years to bowl with precision and venom taking 3 wickets for 15, bowling one, getting a snick to Tets behind the stumps and inducing a pop up fly to a grateful Rishin at short square leg. 22 for 3 off 6.5 overs. Game on! Muks joined the attack and having shed 30 lbs in the off season looked virile and full of spunk. It was no surprise that his intimidating presence resulted in the batter missing a straight one and falling LBW. 32 for 4 off 9.2 overs. The Weston umpiring was incredibly harsh on wides which met with admonishment from Old skip who had umpired and knew how lenient we had been. (Note to self. Field first in the rematch)

The Cavs were very much in the ascendant and when Chitan sent a steepling top edge into the sky it fell to Benny Loomes to stick a dagger in their kidneys if not their heart. Sadly his attempt to mimic recent boob catches came up short. Old Skip rolled some grenades which had the desired effect as Chitan lofted one to a grateful Rinesh at deep square leg. Dropped. Mother fucker. Chitan then proceeded to marmalize the attack scoring 51 off 30 which took the match away from this legends XI although not before Eric Saunders had time to get his first Cavs wicket when Chitan hit one to Ravi B standing 4 steps in from the boundary. Landed over his head for a 4. Cardinal sin. Double mother fucker. Aided by his faithful companion Tushar who was Sancho Panza to his Don Quijote, Chitan brought them home for a flattering 6 wicket win.

The Cavs walked over to a somewhat anti-social oppo to socialize and debrief on the match. The oppo soon left. $5 leaving before your visitors. The re-match awaits. The day was a roaring success as club legends descended upon Stig’s estate to party late to the strains of 80’s music and the tall tales of cricket endeavors past and lives well lived to this point.

Amicitia et Victoria

Old Skip

P.s Let’s beat the bastards tomorrow.

Cavaliers Cricket Club

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